Dear Jen,
I am a guy in my late thirties just getting back in the dating game. I'm nervous about approaching women. Can you suggest a few pick-up lines that might work on women over 30?
Sincerely, That Guy
Dear Guy,
I sure can! I'm a woman over 30 getting back into the dating game (staying home and looking at cats on the internet counts as being in the game, right?). Try these lines:
- Now lemme take ya out, buy ya new appliances.
- Don't you just love Wes Anderson films?
- I have zero ex-wives, zero children and I very much enjoy cooking and doing laundry.
- Hey girl. I'm willing to work out like Tom Hardy and carry you around in a papoose.
- I love your blog.
- I wish I could catch up on Real Housewives but I'm always so busy sweating in the yard in my worn out jeans and cowboy hat.
- Oprah. Am I right? (You'll quickly know if you should go love or hate on this.)
P.S. Please, please, please don't listen to Mystery, The Pickup Artist. When a grown woman sees a grown man wearing a feather boa, she immediately thinks, "oh snap, that dude escaped from [insert mental institution here]; don't make eye contact".
Haha number 3 is GREAT! If I were single, I'd answer to that one!!
ReplyDeleteThat's basically my criteria these days. Romance shmomance. Lack of baggage is hott.
DeleteAs a 31 year old, I have to fully agree. Minus the Oprah. I never got on board that train, but I was always working so...I'm sure she's a saint. Anyway. Yeah. Bravo Network. Wes Anderson, yep. This guys in.
ReplyDeleteI never got on the Oprah train either (never watched more than a clip of her show). Lots of bloggers I follow seem to really love her though. I just say random words like "Stedman" and "weight" and "purple" so people think I'm cool.
DeleteHi There,
ReplyDeleteI love your advice especially the one about the applicances. That was absolutely brillant. I am now a fan and I look forward to reading more from you. Hope the cat and you get out soon!
Cynthia
I wish I could take credit - it's a lyric from an Alabama Shakes song. "Hey, I like Alabama Shakes" would totally work on me.
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