Touché Tuesday Advice Column: On Rituals

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Dear Jen, I've been reading up on "lifestyle rituals" and think maybe I need to add some to my life to help keep myself on track. Do you follow any rituals?
All the best, Curious

Dear Curious,
The term "lifestyle rituals" makes me feel weird inside, but let's do this. A few of my rituals that you should definitely adopt probably not adopt for yourself:

• Starting my day rituals:
• After waking up and before getting out of bed, I grab my cell phone off the nightstand and check my email. This is a terrible lifestyle ritual. Don't do it. 
• Next I open Google Reader and check all the new posts of my favorite bloggers. I do this until I can't not urinate. 
• I finally get out of bed, urinate, brush my teeth and turn on the shower. My cat and I have lived together for 9-ish years. So she has watched me take roughly 3,285 showers. She still freaks out. Every. Time.
• After exiting the shower, I sit on my bed and hold the freaked out cat for a few minutes before getting dressed. (I wear a towel - I don't sit around in the buff holding my cat because that would make it weird). 
• Driving rituals: I text, read more posts from my favorite bloggers, check instagram, take photos, put on my makeup, sometimes change my clothes, follow all traffic rules, yell at other drivers and sing really poorly well. These probably don't really count as rituals.
• Work rituals: I spend a lot of time thinking about how great it would be to not have to work and sometimes I do some things. I'm so productive that I don't have time for rituals at work.
• Evening rituals: My evenings are always different depending on what projects I'm working on, how late I stay at work, whether or not my fave shows are new, who is playing live music, etc. They often involve chicken. Wednesdays are different - I go to a Bible study group. We eat a lot of bacon. Again, not rituals. 
• Ending my day rituals: 
• I ask the cat, "ready for nights?" and we both head to the bedroom. Unless I stay up really late, then she goes to the bedroom before me. I still ask "ready for nights" though. 
• I always consider not brushing my teeth before bed. Always. I don't know why and I fully realize it's gross and odd and I always brush my teeth anyway. Always (mostly because dentures give me the wiggins). 
• I always think about removing my makeup and applying a night-time moisturizer before I bed. I never do either of these things.
• Rarely, because I'm dumb, Sometimes I remember to take my pill that helps me breathe because I'm too lame to just do that completely natural thing that keeps us alive. Mostly Other times I wake up a lot needing my inhaler. 
• Weekend rituals: 
• I don't sleep late but I always stay in bed for a really long time on Saturday mornings.
• Sunday is church day. I go to there.
• I visit my parents and siblings. I live very close to my parents and siblings so this is no bigs, just the way it usually turns out. 

I feel like this answer went downhill really fast and now I owe you a present or something. But you made me tell the internet about the rather odd relationship I have with my cat. So we're even.

♥Jen

Do you, readers, have any rituals?

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