Touché Tuesday Advice Column

Today's Touché Tuesday will be a little different, friends. First, I'll present reader questions and Jenly advice, as per usual. Then I will pose a question of my own to YOU. And then I might type some other stuff that has nothing to do with any of this.

Dear Jen, You know the old "if you were stranded and could only have 3 things" conundrum? Well, I'm going on a trip soon and can only take one backpack. Obviously I will have a change of clothes, some underwear and a toothbrush. That doesn't leave much room and I'll be gone for a month! What should I take?
XOXO, Minimalist Traveler

Dear Mini, Where the heck are you going? Why can you take only one backpack? Can you buy anything there? This is stressing me out. I don't think you should go. But if you insist, definitely take some of the more obvious travel fare, such as: 
     1. A book. Maybe about survival in whatever terrible place you are visiting.
     2. A camera. This will score you points with the natives. Or get you killed.
     3. Sunscreen. Cause sunspots are boo. 
Perhaps less obvious, leave some extra room in the backpack for things to add once you arrive at your destination, such as:
     4. The stick you've just fashioned into a weapon because seriously, where are you going?
     5. The jewelry you make from the teeth of your daily meals as I doubt this one backpack
         locale offers a continental breakfast.
     6. Bear Grylls' phone number fingered-painted onto a piece of fresh sheep skin with clay
         that he probably just tried to eat, spat out and then peed on.
♥Jen

Dear Jen, It's me, Billy, again. So you told me not to date my cousin. Then you told me not to send her flowers. I don't think you understand just how smoking hot my cousin is. I'm not good with girls. Please help.
Yours, Billy

Dear Billy, I think I've helped you as much as I can. You may now want to seek advice from others who have much more experience with kissing cousins. Maybe try Britney Spears?
♥Jen

My turn. Dear Everyone, This morning, while walking from my car to my office (a walk which is almost 1/4 of a mile), my dress did this really clever move and worked it's way up between my leg and my purse, revealing the most secret parts of my left thigh. Fortunately I wear spandexy shorts under dresses because these sorts of things always happen to me. Do you have any tips for keeping your flipping dress where it is supposed to be?

In an unrelated also, remember that owl I entered into what turned into sort of a [human] baby photo contest? Well, as predicted, I didn't win. But, to my surprise, non babies took first and second. Check out the winners and get your camera ready for the next challenge: Spring.