Monday, April 1, 2013

I am the April Fools' Day Scrooge

I like jokes. I like comedic entertainment. I am sarcastic to a fault. Seriousness makes me itch. But. I hate April Fools' Day. Always have.

Being an extremely introverted, shy and socially anxious child/teen, April Fools' Day terrified me. I pretty much lived in fear of being the butt of a joke every day of the year - the thought of a day set aside for even the sweetest of people to trick me was enough to conjure up a quick stomach virus.

As an adult, I don't find AFD terrifying. Just annoying.

For example, a friend announced that she had broken up with her boyfriend this morning. I (and probably everyone else she knows) was happy for her. The guy is a jerk. He does jerky things. And homeboy ain't even hott (let's be honest ladies - the amount of crap we're willing to take off a guy is directly proportional to how much he looks like a 21-year-old Josh Brolin). Then I remembered that today is April 1. The breakup is probably a joke. A joke that will last all stupid day before she admits that it was a joke because she doesn't realize just how much everyone notices the jerkiness of and dislikes her boyfriend. Congrats on helping us like him even less - he really didn't need any help.

Then there's the age-old "I'm pregnant!". I saw that from so many bloggers today. Maybe this one is innocent and fun for your close friends and family, but when you post it for your hordes of blog and instagram and twitter followers to read, it's bound to cause a little hurt in someone who desperately wants to say those words but can't. Compassion. It's in the dictionary. (Check out the Young House Love April Fools' joke - that's how to do a blogger AFD post right, y'all.)

Over the years, I have gotten into the habit of not believing anything anyone says on April 1. I read blog posts and think "bull". I read tweets & FB statuses and voice a hardy "yeah right". Wanna text or call me with news? Better wait till tomorrow. Like my outfit? Keep it to yourself.

If I could choose one day a year to sleep for 24 hours, it would be AFD. Bah humbug.

If you happen to love AFD, unfriend me on Facebook at least throw the rest of us a bone and admit to your trickery in a timely manner. Don't leave us hanging all day.

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