Thursday, May 3, 2012

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

Inspired by this post by Jess at Makeunder My Life, Ez at Creature Comforts challenged the blogging community: write a Things I'm Afraid To Tell You post. There is a big disconnect between real life and what many bloggers write about. Our feeds say that we are always happy and everything is always pretty. We think this is a service but sometimes it makes others feel inadequate. I know I've had that feeling once in a while after catching up on my favorite blogs.

This does not mean that Whitfield Awesome should become a run-down of my everyday life. I'm not going to write about laundry (which I don't do often enough) or every time I'm sad (which I am too often). I'm just going to get down to the nitty gritty with you. At least this once. This also does not mean that I am walking around in despair. I have a lot of great things going for me and love my life. On with the show...

I want to live off of my
creative abilities instead of working an 8-to-5, but don't believe I ever will.

I want to publish a book but don't believe I ever will.
I want to get married and have a baby but don't
 believe I ever will.

When someone nearby laughs, I always think they're laughing at my weight.
I hate how pale I am.
I think my cheekbones are totally whack. 

I don't always take care of the dishes before bed.
One of my extra bedrooms is full of boxes (I closed on the house 8 years ago this month).
I have social anxiety but also don't like being home alone.

I'm a Christian but don't act like it enough.
I'm the best person I know at being in denial
I'm an enabler.

I act tough but get hurt easily.
I rarely feel accepted.

cried while I typed this post.

How about you? If you have a blog, are you up to the challenge? Want to make a confession in the comments? You could always confess something anonymously. Sometimes it feels good just to say it "out loud".


  1. I think you should feel brave and confident for sharing your confessions.

    Mine: I'm having trouble coming up with a secret to share. And it's not because I'm lacking's cause I'm a big sissy.

  2. Aww, this was a tough challenge for many if not all of us. It took forever for me to hit send, but I'm glad I got it out and I'm glad others were brave enough to do so, too. Thanks for opening up!

    I struggle with some of the same things you do about marriage, kids, and goals I'm scared I'll never accomplish because I'm not good enough.

  3. Though these things are hard to admit to myself and amazingly difficult to admit to others, I actually feel a bit of relief putting them out there.

  4. Doing these kinds of posts feel strange, don't they?! It's good though, it helps people understand your voice more when you soley 'know' them online.
    Thanks for sharing and have a good weekend! xo

  5. I'm with you on the wanting to get married/have a baby but thing but don't think you ever will. I also relate to the wanting to live off my creative abilities, but again not believing in my capability to ever do so.
    I have to tell you, I am really inspired and appreciate your willingness to participate in this. I think it is such a cool idea and much needed, because so many times blogs seem to only focus on the perfect. I was going to participate too but I don't post in my blog very often so I feel like a post like this would be too heavy and out of the blue. But I will confess something here, right now. Hmm let's see. Well I'm obsessed with time and how I spend it, like so much that it gets in the way of having friends and relationships with people. I also don't have a single friend I feel like I could call up and hang out with because I pushed all my friends away after struggling with an eating disorder, which I have struggled with for the past 4 years.
    Was that heavy enough for you? ha, it does feel good to get it out though. I've never told anyone that before. I just kind of hope that no one from my "real life" ever sees this.

    1. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad it felt good to let it out in a safe place where perhaps no one from your real life will see it. It's kind of amazing how blogging can feel so personal and intimate AND so separate and pretend.

      [I feel you on the time obsession, btw.]

  6. Man. If people knew my insides they'd really think we were twins because a lot of your things you don't tell people are my things too. I guess that is just part of what makes us such good sister friends.

  7. I'm amazed at how many feel the same things. Why do we always feel like we are alone, when almost everyone has the same anxieties, and can totally relate? Thank-you for sharing!! It's been amazing to read all these blogs that have participated!