If we replaced "yo mamma" jokes with "yo sista's so single" jokes, someone could say to my sister, "yo sista is so single that she got dumped by the same guy twice and she wasn't even dating him the second time around" and it would be totally true.
Apparently I wasn't enthusiastic enough on a recent I guess this is us being friends phone call and I got dumped as a friend in a manner very similar to that in which I was dumped as a girlfriend almost exactly one year prior(!). [P.S. On my most enthusiastic day I'm Rosanne Barr at best. Plus I hate talking on the tele - a fact that he knows. Not quite sure what he was expecting.]
Around this same time, a friend who had been going out to dinners with a man, cooking in for him, leaving a toothbrush at his request, receiving sweet texts daily and spending solo time with his kid, was flabbergasted when she heard him say that they were not "dating". If that's not dating, I need someone to explain the concept to me.
Another friend went on a first date with a guy who was ready to marry her that night. (This ain't Dharma and Greg, y'all.) While countless other friends date the same guy for years and years and years but he's never quite ready to make a commitment. (This ain't Sex and the City either.)
Several of my gal pals have "friendships" with men who don't want to date them but turn into 14-year-old girls when they don't receive a response to a text within a timely manner. Timely, by the way, seems to range from two and one-half minutes all the way up to a whopping thirty minutes, even during work hours.
So. To the next person who asks why I'm not dating (and people often do), I might say "because I don't know how" or "because men have me stumped, yo" or "because the only men who flirt with me are married (another thing I don't get)". Not dating isn't a choice I've made. No one's asking (spending most of my waking hours around men I already know with no chance of meeting new ones probably doesn't help) and I'm far too afraid of rejection to do the asking myself.
Any tips on understanding the psyche of men? Is there an app for that?