For a while I figured he chewed his legs off and bled out next to the highway. But it has become clear that he met up with Train and inspired the lyric "got run over by a crappy purple Scion". He did this partly because I drive a crappy purple Scion and ran over him. But mostly because he knows how much I hate Train. Squirrels are jerks and Train is awful. They almost got me with that Hey Soul Sister song. Then I remembered that I don't smoke weed.
It's possible that this haunts me. Also, I just noticed how much squirrels look like hot dogs. Anything you need to confess?
