It's that special time of year again.

There's a chill in the Florida air. At least in the mornings and evenings. EVERY Floridian who goes outside mid-day still shouts the lyrics by that rap gentleman about sweat dripping down their genitalia. The chill let's me know it's that special time of year. The time when creatures of the night inhabit my attic.

They scurry as soon as my alarm goes off. This morning, I heard one shout "oh snap, she's awake...hide! Today will be the day that she climbs that scary as ish wooden ladder into the attic pre-shower. How does that thing support her weight?" Obviously they are wordy and far too concerned with vanity.

You are all invited to go into my attic and kill whatever you find and MAYBE get a microwaved hotdog for your effort my super awesome It's Winter! party. You'll need this field guide. Please print and bring your own. I'm not made of money.