Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The worst egg hunt ever...

Freakin' New Girl. I sat down to enjoy a light evening of comedy featuring Zooey Deschanel and that hot guy who plays Nick that I simultaneously feel like I've known forever and have never seen before but it doesn't matter either way because I want to have babies with him even though I probably can't because 90% of my eggs are LOST. That's right, lost. Keeping the other socks company. Candle in the wind. My sacks are running on 10%. Gone. 

In tonight's episode, Jess' lesbian gynecologist friend (they're dime a dozen, am I right) tells her that women lose 90% of their eggs by the time they reach 30. Of course her face turns into a baby deer and she sings some silly songs and demonstrates general hipster quirkiness until her LGF informs her that she does in fact have plenty of hormones up in her snatch (while her gorgeous model friend is coming up empty - take that models). 

In the real world, I pretend to be convinced that this is a made-up-for-laughs fact but nearly drop my hot-dog wiener and Thanksgiving gravy down the side of my recliner-and-a-half (America!), and give Google a friction burn with my mad search.

And there it was. "The study published by the University of St. Andrews and Edinburgh University in Scotland found that women have lost 90 percent of their eggs by the time they are 30 years old, and only have about 3 percent remaining by the time they are 40."  Lost. Lost? Should I have worn fewer skirts? Kept my legs crossed? Is this something that people know - why wasn't I aware?

This is not appropriate Tuesday evening comedy fodder. I still feel like I kinda want to have a family. I'll probably be ready in about a year or 75. So keep an eye out for your invitation to the worst egg hunt ever. 

Now please enjoy this clip that is EXACTLY like a conversation I had (except I looked far less like a woodland creature while speaking):


  1. And this is why I love you.

    P.S. I always knew it was true...I will never sit next to a super fertile female.

  2. Ha! It is probably best to play it safe.