Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Touché Tuesday Advice Column: On Anger

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Dear Jen,
Help! I have anger issues. I tend to break things to make myself feel better. My roommate upset me recently and I broke her favorite glass figurine. I need a better way to deal. How do you handle anger?
Sincerely, Hot Headed

Dear Hulk Smash Hot Headed,
First of all, unless your roommate is 80-years-old, she shouldn't have a favorite glass figurine. Tell her that she is welcome. Next, how do I handle anger? I usually cry and/or verbally vomit all over my sister (because she has to love me anyway) and/or ex-boyfriend (because OMG what is wrong with me) - but these methods aren't much better than breaking stuff. 

Maybe try:
  • closing your eyes and counting to ten. I rolled my eyes just typing that. Don't do it.
  • exercising. This requires that you also be insane.
  • writing in a journal. Be careful. If people find out, they'll make fun of you and you'll just get angry all over again.
  • getting the e-Pressed shirt past the conceptual stage so folks can feel you up and out of your anger.
Let's get real. Just post vague Facebook statuses that make your "friends" consider hiding your updates, like a normal person. 

Man. This was a terrible attempt at providing advice. You mad?


  1. Ha ha Jen that is so funny - I love it, would just love to have a terrible advice column :)

  2. Entertaining, but on the other hand I was not the one asking for advice.. ;-)

  3. Do what I do. Knock over furniture, and then eat a quart of ice cream.

  4. Haha <3! I have to admit, I immediately thought Hulk too... Big, green and all!

  5. Well, it's a fact that breaking something is a way of letting the anger out, but we should still keep our emotions under control. Maybe breaking your roommate's favorite glass figurine wasn’t the best idea. What happened? Will you be able to fix that figurine? Maybe it can still be fixed with adhesives or something.