Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Touché Tuesday Advice: On Honeymoons & Jobs

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One of the following questions concerns honeymoon activities. If you allow your seven-year-old to keep reading over your shoulder, it's not my fault. Can seven-year-old's read? I have no concept of child development. Do they even have their eyes open at this point?

The above image has nothing to do with anything in this post because this is my blog and I can do that.

Dear Jen,
I'm getting married soon and it's a pain. Also, my fiance's parents are making everything more difficult than it should be. I think this is because my fiance is an only child and his parents have nothing better to do than interfere with everything in his/our life. Anyhow, I want to know if I'm being a complete b***h or if wedding stress is just getting to me. My fiance's parents have very generously offered to pay for a really expensive and totally awesome trip for us for our honeymoon. But there's a catch.

They want to go too. Yeah, because the trip is that awesome and they don't see their son that much (he moved across the country to live with me). Now, if it were any other trip I don't think I'd have a problem, but I'm supposed to be banging the living daylights out of their son on this trip, and if his parents come along, I don't think that will happen. Actually, I know it won't, because I'm going to be a b***h and not put out. So am I really being an ungrateful b***h on wanting my honeymoon to be just the two of us? Am I being stupid for turning down an awesome trip just because my in-laws want to come along?
Frustrated, Sexually on my Honeymoon

Deary SOMH,
Um, no. Your in-laws cannot go on your honeymoon. That's insane and they should know that. Since you technically are not their "daughter" yet, your fiance should put a stop to this. Try some subtle hints like:
  1. Hey guy, it's your mom or my vagina. Ball's in your court. Balls won't be anywhere near my court unless you tell your rents to stay home.
  2. I got a new book for the honeymoon. It's called Your Mom and no one has sex in it.
  3. I can't wait for you to see the wedding night panties I got...for your mom.
  4. Yo momma's so fat (pause) I won't have sex with you.
  5. Is that a banana in your pocket or your dad?
I'm dying to know how this turns out. Keep me posted. (And since everything in the whole wide world is ultimately about me, let's all take a moment and acknowledge that I just won the internet with #2 up there.)
♥ Jen

Dear Jen,
You've written about job loss and job gains before, so hopefully you can help. My sister just lost her job due to financial layoffs. She's trying to make the best of it, especially since she wasn't happy with her employer. She's been actively job searching while figuring out if she should go back to school or what kind of job she wants. I think she's doing great dealing with it, and I feel it's totally reasonable for her to have some bad days mixed in with the good. On those tough days, what can I do to help her? I will support any decision she makes, and speak with her often, so I'm there telling her that it's okay to take a morning or day off (of job hunting) and relax, but I'm also there to encourage her to get a move on after a day break.

What can I do or say to help her during this tough time. I know she's sick of people saying "you'll find something" "enjoy your time off" "oh, it's like a vacation, right?".

Hopefully you can help.

Sincerely, Sister Sister

Dear Sister Sister,
It sounds like you are doing a great job of being supportive and encouraging, yet firm. When I was given notification of lay-off, I was ashamed. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't help feeling like a failure. I really didn't like people talking to me about it at all. I wanted to pretend that no one knew. BUT my sister is one of a few people in my life I can be completely transparent with. I am immeasurably thankful for that relationship. I'm  glad your sister has you.

On those tough days, let her be sad or angry or whatever she needs to be. But mostly, treat her like you always do. Job loss can feel dehumanizing. Someone who treats you like you instead of like you without a job is refreshing. She knows she needs to find a job. It's probably consuming her every thought. It's unlikely that she needs folks reminding her to find a job or making light of it (vacation comments, ugh). 

Dear Jen,
I love getting my career started but I hate other people, managers, having a say so in said career path. How should I accept not being the boss of me entirely? I am not used to this method of work.
Boss Lady Attitude, Eyelashes B.

Dear B.,
My career has always included working for someone else. I do a bit of freelancing but have never relied solely on my freelance income. I don't know how it feels to be the boss of me entirely. But I do know that there are perks to working for the man. 

Things like a steady paycheck come to mind. A sense of security. Not having to deal with crap like payroll, benefits, making budget, reimbursing unhappy clients, etc. There can be something supremely easy and relaxing about knowing that someone else makes sure there is a place to work and projects to work on. Allow yourself to enjoy just doing your work and not worrying about the rest. 

Or be a complete diva and act like you are still the boss of you entirely. For some strange reason, people who act that way in the corporate world receive promotions. And cookies that someone spat in.


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    1. Sorry raj1110, in order to promote your honeymoon packages on my blog, I need to see some papers formerly known as the almighty dollar.

  2. Oh man, I could have used raj1110's information.

    Also, I will be doing a blog post on a spam comment I got trying to sell me fertilized ostridge eggs.

    Also Also, can you please explain the image on this post. I really, really, REALLY want this to have happened to you. I don't know what it is about mail hot mail guys, but I love them. I worked at a florist once where both my gay boss and I would drool over our mail guy. It didn't help that he was really nice too.

    1. I think Raj bought every domain he could think of that had anything to do with honeymooning in India...should be easy to find.

      Also, please tell me you do in fact have fertilized ostridge eggs on the way.

      Also, also, yes! This happened to me. I used to see the hot mail guy on occasion at the uni. He always complimented my outfit or hair and if I had changed my hair since he last gazed upon it, he always noticed. THEN, the last couple months I was with the uni, he had to pick up in my building erryday. Erryday he stopped at my door to say hi. On one occasion he said the quote in the image. He is on the short list of things I miss about the uni.

      P.S. I love that worked at a florist shop and had a gay boss. I'm imagining this portion of your life to be a movie staring Jennifer Garner.

    2. There's a "you" missing in that P.S. Sorry I'm so dumb.

    3. Um...and why aren't you having dinner with hot mail guy. You could hook it up...like always :)

    4. He's marrrriiieeed. If a man flirts with me, it's a pretty good bet that he is married, over 60 or both.

    5. I'd still keep a look out for him. Maybe his marriage won't work because he's too busy dreaming of you.

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