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So MSN had Caroline Manzo answer nine of YOUR toughest questions. Probably because they couldn't get me on the phone. I never answer the phone unless it's a cute boy or a peanut butter M&M for life contest winner announcer. Plus, MSN, you really need to start using email.
My answers to Caroline's questions...
How do I handle a mean girl at work?
You really shouldn't be handling girls at work. They'll get you on sexual harrassment.
How do I know if my pre-wedding jitters are normal or a sign I should call the whole thing off?
I'm pretty sure everyone who has ever gotten married had pre-wedding jitters. Quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing about them. Write me when have better jitters. Like I'm about to start raising 465 guinea fowl jitters.
How do I ask my boss for a raise?
With one eye closed and biting down on a stick.
How can I be supportive of both my parents during a divorce without taking sides?
Are you kidding. Take sides! Both of them. 3 words: double Christmas presents.
How can I get my husband to be more romantic?
Love, Wanting More
Dear Wanting More,
By refusing to have sex with him. I think your husband submitted a question to my column: "My wife hasn't caught on to the whole withholding sex thing. How did I get so lucky (pun intended)?"
How can I learn to feel more comfortable and confident in my own skin?
Great. Now I'm thinking of you with no skin. Thanks.
I'm terrified of dating after my divorce. How do I get back out there?
Love, Single Again
I may not be the best person to ask about this. Exhibit A: this post.
I'm falling in love with my close male friend. Should I tell him how I feel?
Do you want to be the next person asking about pre-wedding jitters and unromantic husbands and dating after divorces? Then no.
My parents won't stop nagging me about getting married - how can I politely tell them to butt out?
Love, Single For the First Time
Like this: "Hey guy, butt out."
If for some reason you really want to read Caroline's answers, gotohere.