Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Touché Tuesday Advice Column: On Flirting

Need some Whitfield Awesome advice (about anything)? Fill out this form.     

Dear Jen,
I am a guy in my late thirties just getting back in the dating game. I'm nervous about approaching women. Can you suggest a few pick-up lines that might work on women over 30?
Sincerely, That Guy

Dear Guy,
I sure can! I'm a woman over 30 getting back into the dating game (staying home and looking at cats on the internet counts as being in the game, right?). Try these lines:

  1. Now lemme take ya out, buy ya new appliances.
  2. Don't you just love Wes Anderson films?
  3. I have zero ex-wives, zero children and I very much enjoy cooking and doing laundry. 
  4. Hey girl. I'm willing to work out like Tom Hardy and carry you around in a papoose.
  5. I love your blog.
  6. I wish I could catch up on Real Housewives but I'm always so busy sweating in the yard in my worn out jeans and cowboy hat.
  7. Oprah. Am I right? (You'll quickly know if you should go love or hate on this.)
♥ Jen 

P.S. Please, please, please don't listen to Mystery, The Pickup Artist. When a grown woman sees a grown man wearing a feather boa, she immediately thinks, "oh snap, that dude escaped from [insert mental institution here]; don't make eye contact". 


  1. Haha number 3 is GREAT! If I were single, I'd answer to that one!!

    1. That's basically my criteria these days. Romance shmomance. Lack of baggage is hott.

  2. As a 31 year old, I have to fully agree. Minus the Oprah. I never got on board that train, but I was always working so...I'm sure she's a saint. Anyway. Yeah. Bravo Network. Wes Anderson, yep. This guys in.

    1. I never got on the Oprah train either (never watched more than a clip of her show). Lots of bloggers I follow seem to really love her though. I just say random words like "Stedman" and "weight" and "purple" so people think I'm cool.

  3. Hi There,

    I love your advice especially the one about the applicances. That was absolutely brillant. I am now a fan and I look forward to reading more from you. Hope the cat and you get out soon!


    1. I wish I could take credit - it's a lyric from an Alabama Shakes song. "Hey, I like Alabama Shakes" would totally work on me.