Oh. Y'all. When I said I'd keep you posted on how I manage to embarrass myself and whether or not I follow the advice of the mysterious fortune, I had no idea to what extent I would embarrass myself. Seriously, my life should be a television show. These things don't happen to real people. Am I Truman? Is this all a set-up? Cause I'd rather have the manicured lawn version.
Also, I didn't follow the fortune. Way too sensitive. And dumb. So, so dumb. I mean, I'm still awesome. But very dumb.
I expected to fall down or lose an article of clothing as these are the sorts of things that usually happen to me. I guess if I'm honest, these things aren't really embarrassing any more. I didn't expect to be so dumb though. I'll spare you the gory details. Just know that there is apparently more than one way to interpret the statement "I want to be a couple again soon." And I did it wrong.
To help keep you fine readers from making the same mistake and crying at your desk AGAIN like the big weepy freak that you are, here are a few tips on using the statement "I want to be a couple again soon" correctly:
- If you are the one making this statement to your former flame and you mean that you want to be a couple again soon with someone else, not your former flame,
don't use the word "again", it's misleading don't pair it with "I miss you" or "I am a stupid idiot" - it's misleadingSTOP and never ever say this to your former flame for any reason.
- If you are the one hearing the statement from your former flame, stop listening.
- If you do want to be a couple again soon with your former flame, not someone else, go ahead. Say it. Just like that. Cause "I want to be a couple again soon" freaking means that you want to be a couple again soon.
Pictured: The North Floridian Dodo.
*Don't worry, by "someone" I totally mean someone else, not you.