Friday, May 4, 2012

That One Time When I Got Dumped and the Economy Was All “You Can’t Afford to Get Over It” So I Made the Internet My Boyfriend

I got dumped this week. One day you’re all dumb and happy and getting gifts of pee strips. Then, before you know it, see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.

Let me give you the rundown of my dating history. I posted a bunch of horrifying things yesterday, why stop there?
  • In kindergarten, a boy kissed me on the shoulder at the cubbies every day. I realize this does not count as a relationship but sometimes I wish things were still that simple. Plus, he was totally the hottest kid in our class. High five!
  • My friends set me up with a boy in middle school (I was also in middle school, pervs). We talked on the phone a few times and held hands at a high school football game. Then we just stopped talking to each other. I realize this one doesn’t count either, but this is my blog.
  • A boy stood in a tree at my cousin’s house and yelled my name because he was pining (pining – in a tree – lol) for me. This one never had any hope of counting but I couldn’t resist that whole pining thing.
  • I started dating someone near the end of high school and spent the next 4.5 years with him. There were lots of ups and downs. After we broke-up, I built a house and didn’t date again for two years.
  • I had a short but intense relationship with a guy. After we broke-up, I bought a car and got back into the dating scene rather quickly.
  • This time, I wanted to date around a little bit (not synonymous with sleeping around). My personal best:  four dates with four different dudes in one week (one named Forrest – I was willing to change Jen to Jenny, but one date was more than plenty). This period helped me realize that casual dating really wasn’t that much fun and I was no longer interested in dating unless it was with someone who wanted more than a kissy-face movie buddy. Social anxiety + meeting new men all the time = torture.
  • Now here I am. Dumped by the one I thought was just right for me. The one I thought was so different from the others. I can’t afford to build another house. I can’t afford to buy another car. I’m definitely a retail therapy kind of girl. Apparently when my heart hurts, it wants to drop some serious dough. But. The economy is peeved and when the economy ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. I do need something else to love though. And that something else is, drumroll please…
The internet! I’m finally going to get my Etsy shop up and running. I have thought about a “Whitfield Awesome” brand for many years now. Time to get it off the ground. I’m also going to get serious about my writing. I’ve wanted to be an author since second grade. No more excuses. And making the internet my boyfriend probably means that you’ll be seeing even more posts here.

Any advice for the brokenhearted? (Unless it's "you'll find someone one day". Single people hate hearing that.)


  1. It's me again, no advice but I like your plan of getting your shop up. I love the images you make for your blog. Are you going to sell some of your design skills??

    1. Thanks...I'm probably going to start out with prints and maybe logo design. Who knows how many times I'll change my mind between now and the end of the month though. :)

  2. Virtual Panda hugs! Stay busy and get a new haircut or color. Always helps. Can't wait to see what you put into the universe! It'll be amazeballs. :)

    1. Hmmm, new hair color. I do have an appointment soon. :)

  3. I'm sorry to hear this! But, I think you can use this opportunity for some great change (which you're already going toward). Get things going with your shop and writing and enjoy life!

    Okay, this is totally an affiliate link, but free earrings if you sign up for sneakpeeq. I'm all about free stuff in this economy, so if you want pretty pearl earrings.... click that link and sign up and then you can get these earrings free!

    Sorry if that sounded weird or spammy, but free stuff makes me happy thought it might make you happy too! =]

  4. Thanks. I kind of hate to admit that heartache may inspire me to change more than anything else.

    I love free things and I love earrings - I'll check the link out!

  5. Oh, that earring thing is totally legit. I ordered a scarf and got the free pearls. It takes a really long time for them to ship - I got mine in about a month, but I did get them!

    P.S. Please pick one or more below:
    You are too nice for him.
    It's for the best.
    Everything happens for a reason.
    If you were meant to be together, you'd be together.
    There are other fish in the sea.
    You'll find someone one day.
    When you stop looking is when you'll find the one.