Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Writing Words: The First Dissidents

I'm participating in the May Show Off Writing Contest over at The Write Practice. I posted my entry today and my heart is beating really fast at the thought of letting other people judge my writing. 

I wrote a story called "The First Dissidents". I mostly stick to humor here on Whitfield Awesome. This story is not funny. No way around that. But. I figure since "Writing Words" is in my blog header, I should share it here as well. Look up. Boom. Writing Words. Unless you are reading this through a feed. Boom. You can't see my header.

"The First Dissidents" is a short story, but a short story is a really long blog post AND if it wins (I can hardly allow myself to believe that is a possibility), I'm supposed to allow The Write Practice to publish it exclusively on their blog and in a book of twelve short stories (a book!). So here's an excerpt...
“I must get to my station.” Her station was inside a large room where She and others like her connected one piece to another while They watched. They watched from behind mirrored helmets. They watched with electrically charged devices in their hands. Always scanning. Always ready. 
“Yes, you will go to your station. Today. Tonight we will leave. But you must listen and do as I say.” His voice had grown slightly louder. 
“No thank you,” She said as She tried once again to move. 
This time He grabbed her. With his left hand full of her elbow, his right waved a small vial under her nose. “Snap out of it!” His voice was too loud this time. The green darted about again as a soft whirring came from outside the cube. A familiar whirring that They made. 
She and He stood very still and kept very quiet until the whirring retreated. “What is in that vial?” She was beginning to think more clearly. 
“We make it at my station. It is called Truth."
If you want to read the entire story, check out the comments section of this post.


  1. Super awesome short story. Any thoughts on turning it into a long story? I'm intrigued. I want more.