A job interview must!
I have my first real job interview next week. I'm super nervous! I'd like to practice answering questions. What questions would you ask during an interview?
Sincerely, New Hire
Dear New Hire,
You will probably hear the same tired questions that have plagued interviewees for centuries: where would you like to see yourself in 5 years and if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be? The only correct answers to these questions include getting my tan on while I watch the pool boy and that crazy hair molesting tree from Avatar. Interviewers know this.
But you didn't ask what questions you are likely to be asked in an interview. You asked what questions I would ask during an interview. These:
- I am forcing you to participate in Ultimate Cage Match. Would you rather fight Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or Donna Martin?
- What do you feel is the best color combination for a luchador mask?
- The answer is 42. What is the question?
- What do you like most about me?
- Lisa Frank. Yea or nay?
I just finished watching the Veronica Mars series on DVD. The ending was so abrupt and unsatisfying. How do I get over this?
Dear Some Other Person That's Totally Not Me,
Definitely don't order Moonlight, another series starring that guy that played Logan, or imagine yourself all petite and cuddly with Logan as you drift off to sleep (it's okay - he only played a teen, he's actually 30). That would be sorta crazy. Sweet dreams.
Interview Answer Key:
- Donna Martin. Because David Silver would show up and have you seen his present day abs?
- Coral and teal.
- The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.
- Obviously your beauty is unparalleled, your intelligence is astounding and your sense of style is nothing short of wicked, but what I like most is your dry sense of humor.
- Uh. Yea.