Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Touché Tuesday on Wednesday!

I have been under the weather the last few days. I fully intended to post Touché Tuesday on Tuesday but I couldn't look at my monitor for more than a couple minutes at a time without getting nauseous. Please forgive me. On to the advice...

Dear Jen, I’m bored. What new hobby should I take up?
Yours, Nick, Boston Mass

Dear Nick,
I have a few man hobbies for you to consider. Which is probably stereotypical and wrong – maybe you would enjoy knitting, I dunno. How about…
-Model rockets. One year, I bought model rockets for Christmas and got the whole family involved in putting them together and shooting them. It was great fun. Just take care not to put out an eye.
-Foil collecting. Did you see the size of Pee Wee Herman’s ball?
-Carve hobo nickels. This is something I really want to try myself. All you need is a nickel and a nail.

Dear Jen, How can I be as awesome as you?
Sincerely, Not Worthy, Nowhere Oklahoma

Dear Not Worthy,
Practice, practice, practice. You must be devoted to your craft. Especially when your craft is being awesome. Seriously though, I’m just me. All the time. Some people get me, some people don’t. Learning to be okay with that is the key to being awesome.

Dear Jen, I am sooo much cooler than my boyfriend, it’s ridiculous. I don’t have a problem with it, if we are home by ourselves, which we always do since I would be humiliated to introduce him to my friends. I’m getting a little stir crazy sitting at home with him every night watching re-runs of Star Trek. Do you have any tips on how to ‘coolify’ him?
Frustrated, Brianna Lynn

Dear Brianna Lynn,
I don’t think this boy is right for you. Instead of tips for coolifying him, here are a few tips for picking up the kind of dude I think you’ll like:
-Hang out in Abercrombie and Fitch.
-Wear a sparkly jersey and short shorts with something truly clever printed on the rear – like “Pink” or “Hott”.
-Quit wasting time on words. Talk like you text.


  1. BAHAHA. I bet Brianna Lynn will totally follow your advice! Poor dude!

  2. I don't even know where to start because this whole post was funny as *! Clever words on short shorts and talk like you text were the highlights for me.