Touché Tuesdays: Advice a la Jen

So I recently received this tweet:

I agree! That is the best idea ever. Touché Tuesdays shall now be a regular feature of Whitfield Awesome. Need advice? Fill out this form. As this is the first iteration and no one has asked any questions, here are a few made-up questions I feel may be pertinent to my readers:

Dear Jen, I'm having a baby. What should I name it?
All the best, Nameless Preggo

Dear Nameless Preggo,
The world will never have enough Ghost Face Killahs*. Or how about Jen for a girl / Jin for a boy? Seriously though, I have a list of 15 great names but they are on reserve for future cats. Of course by future cats, I do not mean cats that I will own in the future. I mean cats that will arrive here in a 80s (2080s!) Delorean and demand that I give them good convincing 2012 names.
♥ Jen

Dear Jen, I would like to paint a neato picture for my boyfriend as a birthday gift. I haven’t painted since elementary school. Where do I start? 

XOXO, No Picasso

Dear No Picasso,
Painting is totally hard. You should buy something from my etsy store (coming soon). If you insist on making your own art, I suggest acrylic paint and a pad of watercolor paper. They are easy to work with and cheap! My medium of choice is the cheapest acrylic paint on the shelves of WalMart. Paint something funny - if it doesn’t turn out perfect, you can pass it off as meant to be that way.
♥ Jen

Dear Jen, I will be alone on Valentine’s Day. So will my cousin. She’s hot. Should we date?
Yours, Billy

Dear Billy,

No.
♥ Jen

*Disclaimer: If you name your baby Ghost Face Killah and he ghost face kills ya, I hold no responsibility.